Tooth Fairy
by kitchevadimas
Summary: Alucard is loosing teeth. Seras is going out alone. This began as a one shot, but is ending up to be a full-blown story.


Smoke drifted up to the ceiling in a slow, curling strand as the scratching of a pen on paper filled the large, nearly empty office. The woman at the large, mahogany desk snorted a puff of smoke as she noted a somewhat amusing proposal. "Those Catholic pigs really expect me to trade heads with them to ensure peace? How stupid do they really believe me to be?" She asked no one in particular with a small, sideways smile forming around her cigar for a brief instant before it melted back into the almost perfectly straight line it was before.

"I'm not too sure, Master. Does the letter mention any of them coming to our humble abode?" A deep baritone voice drifted into the room containing an unusually low amount of amusement. Integra looked around for a moment, wrinkling her drab green suit.

"Alucard, come out. I have no time for your silly games," she commanded, almost not noticing the somber attitude of the voice. The wall rippled as no solid has a right to do and let forth a tall man. His limbs were long and slim, arms hanging limply at his sides, and his normally ebony hair a sooty black as it swung almost lethargically to his movements. He stood straighter when the entrance was completed, his shoulders drooping along with his lips. His head hung slightly, hair hiding his eyes. His crimson coat was closed around him, hiding his slim form somewhat. He pressed into a corner, deepening the shadows until he was barely visible.

"What's wrong with you? You're never this… Depressive," Integra asked apprehensively, fully expecting it to be some kind of guilt trip or an attempt to get her blood.

"May I please remain here while the Police Girl kills the trash freaks?" Blue eyes blinked unnecessarily at the politeness and the very odd request. Her mind blanked completely at the fact that _Alucard_, of all people was both polite and wanted to _not_ go on a killing spree.

"Do you think she's ready?" Was the only thing she could think of to say after a long pause.

"They're freaks," came the disgusted response, "If she can't handle them, it's only because of her stupidity."

Integra sighed. "Fine, but if she gets injured or killed it's on your head," she paused in thought. "Now answer my question. What in God's name has you acting so dammed depressed?!"

He appeared directly before the desk almost instantly and instead of giving a verbal response, he decided to grunt and spit something in her face, rebounding off her glasses and into her lap. Rage flashed upon her face and she grabbed the object in her lap, bringing it up to where she could see the tooth.

"Why… are you…spitting… teeth?" Confusion took over again as she looked it over. It was curved, but obviously worn blunt. Out of curiosity, she removed a glove and attempted to cut a finger on the normally sharp object. It was almost completely blunt, yet definitely not human. She cocked an eyebrow at him. His only response was to open his mouth, showing several missing teeth and flick one out with his tongue. It bounced off her desk and onto her paperwork.

An odd thought came to her at that moment. "The Tooth Fairy really must hate you for taking all of her money," she smirked.

"You really believe in such petty things Master?" Alucard growled, spitting out another tooth.

"No, I don't, now quit being so pissy. I suppose you can stay home as long as you stay in bed," Integra chirped, the smirk not leaving her face. She pressed a button on the phone on her desk. "Walter."

An elderly, refined voice came through the phone. "Yes, milady?"

Integra struggled to keep her voice even as she looked at her teething vampire. "Bring me one of those plastic cups the men often use for beer pong. Alucard's having an _interesting _day." The vampire in question growled.

"Do you want beer in it, or should I bring it empty?" Came the cautious voice. The man obviously wondered whether or not he should be afraid to find out what Alucard's day had been like.

"Empty," she chirped, clearly loving the glower she was getting. Somehow he was being so cute with those missing teeth. She released the button. "Alucard, I believe you have succeeded in beating your fledgling in the cutest angry face on a bloodsucker."

Three teeth stuck out over a small, pouty frown as he bit it and the corners of the mouth somehow fattened his face slightly. His eyebrows hung low over his eyes, full of annoyance, and… embarrassment! 'Hah! I have embarrassed Alucard! Victory!' Integra cheered silently. When the word 'cutest' registered, the face quickly transformed. The three teeth disappeared as the frown deepened and his brows rose somewhat, letting light into his slightly glowing eyes.

Integra chuckled and returned to her work, waiting for Walter's arrival. The room was once more filled with the sound of a pen scratching paper as she signed her name and filled out the mountain of paperwork that constantly dwelled on her desk.

After a couple minutes, a polite knock sounded on the door. It opened to reveal an elderly butler with black hair, blue eyes and a monocle striding in carrying a single red plastic cup on a small tray. "Here is the cup you requested mam," with that, he turned and walked out, leaving the cup on Integra's desk.

"Alucard, I want all of your teeth to go in this cup. Go pick up the ones you spat elsewhere, and put them in here. I also expect you to stay in your room during this period of tooth loss," Integra gave her orders, handing him the cup. "Also, do you mind telling me why you're losing teeth?"

"It happens once every seventy to a hundred years. Teeth get blunt and have to be replaced with better ones. Often, I grow a few extra, so I have more teeth than I started with," came the explanation.

"And why does this make you so depressive?"

"As a vampire, I have pride of my teeth. They are my most prized weapons, and a form of marking what's mine as well. For them to be lost is somewhat depressing. Not to mention the hormoans or whatever you call them," his voice had a slight growl.

"Vampires have hormones?" Integra cocked an eyebrow at him.

"During this time, I have no appetite, and feel like curling up somewhere to hide and wait it out like a coward. I hate it, but still usually end up hiding somewhere," he groaned, showing no desire to give this information.

"Fine, you can go 'curl up somewhere to hide and wait it out like a coward' now," she smirked at him as he left, dropping the three teeth on her desk into the cup.


End file.
